Oh God, I think she ate poo …

That’s right, if the baseball style black streak under her eye is what I think it is, combined with her clean hands, I think The Hurricane had a taste of poo when ‘napping’ this afternoon.

(I’m on holidays this week, so that’s why I’m home in the middle of the day seeing but not believing all this)

The Hurricane naps for everybody but me. What she does when I’m in charge is play in her crib for an hour, then jump up and down, and then drop a huge deuce in her drawers.

Like clockwork.

Today, the jumping started halfway through my sandwich, so I chose to finish eating. Big mistake. Five minutes later, when I went into her room knowing the unmistakble reek of naptime poo, combined with baseboard heater, would greet me upon opening the door, I noticed something under her right eye. It was a black streak, running from about mid-eye and down towards her earlobe.

Being dim-witted, it took me a minute to fit 2-and-2 together, but eventually I realized there was shit on The Hurricane’s face. I grabbed her hands to see if she was covered in it, only to realize they were mostly clean, with only a few traces of poo on them.

And, other than the back of her diaper, where else do her hands spend most of their time? In her mouth, of course.

Again, some math was required for me to piece these facts together, but I’m pretty sure she stuck her hands down her diaper, pulled out a few fingers of poo, marked up her face like the crazy kids from Lord of the Pigs, and then cleaned herself up like any self-respecting 19-month-old would.

I asked her if that’s what she did, and, to her credit, she fessed up.

Then I asked her if she wanted some milk to wash her snack down with and there wasn’t much hesitation with that head nod.

No wonder she still won’t go to sleep, an hour later. I might have insomnia tonight too, knowing what happened in the room down the hall.


13 Responses to Oh God, I think she ate poo …

  1. Casey says:

    OMG is right!
    I have no other words…

  2. Marijke says:

    Ah. It strengthens their immune system.

  3. 1sttimedad says:

    @ Eric and Casey

    I know, I know!

  4. James Austin says:

    I hope it’s ok that I laughed my ass off when I read that. Ok, I have composed myself and am now feeling your pain.

  5. Dear Old Dad says:

    Payback for those bathtub floats methinks…….

  6. BRandy says:

    Oh my Gosh, Ireally needed that chuckle right now!!!

  7. 1sttimedad says:

    @ Dear Old Dad

    Oh God, I hope Shantel doesn’t start screaming about this one too!

  8. […] she found events (small in hindsight, but big at the time) that she had completely forgotten… like the time The Hurricane probably at poo. You think you’d never forget something like that, but you […]

  9. […] entire blog dedicated to every tiny detail of their young life, from a wild trip to the library, to disgusting nap-time incidents, or 955 words just to document their first two-footed jump. Although they may only have a modest […]

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